The ever-increasing number of nuclear power plant explosions rocking Japan’s northeast coast lately seem to be invoking fear in its fatefully star-crossed population, several sociologists report.
“Nuclear radiation can often lead to mutation and death. At this point, we think the Japanese people may be fearing death,” author, sociologist, and UCF Professor, Jim Wright explains.
Wright has come up with a groundbreaking method for testing his hypothesis. A lucky selection of UCF sociology students will be given the opportunity to violently bang on the doors of a number of Japanese-American homes and falsely warn them of a neighborhood radiation leak.
Wright continues, “When we compare the reactions of the Japanese-Americans to the behavior of the real Japanese people, we feel that we will find their reactions to be remarkable similar.”
UPDATED: March 19, 2011
The aforementioned group of UCF students in the sociology major are not as pleased as they’d hoped to be with the results of Dr. Wright’s study. Most of the homeowners just accused them of being intolerant and racist and slammed the door. One even called the police.
“They didn’t react like the Japanese people on the T.V. at all,” an irritated Dan Barwick told one of our reporters. “I’m changing my major.”
Wright remains confident in his original hypothesis: “My feelings haven’t changed. I’ll just have to come up with a more accurate and rigorous method.”