In the aftermath of SGA President Killbride’s attempt at dissolving the senate, UCF will be welcoming back the chivalry of feudalism.
A bold new budget laid out by the senate will see to the training, equipping and knighting of a new senatorial elite guard, the UCF Knights. The office of Senate Speaker Drew Pope released the following statement earlier in the week:
“The priority of The Order is the protection of members of senate. To do so they will each be trained in the art of dueling, jousting, courtly love and heraldry. Serving a local duke or baron, the knights can earn their way into landed gentry. The duchies they serve have been established in the hillside there yonder and nestled in the bend of the river to the north.”
In response, the office of President Killbride released its own statement.
“To hell with Pope! The Presidential Legionnaires will ride by moonlight from Ferrell Commons to Classroom One, reading destruction from the book of blissful fate to those worked and worn SGA horsemen!”
A member of the UCF Police department reveals, “This is ludicrous. Full plate mail, a two handed bastard sword, a tower shield? A veritable army of medieval knights will render classic police work obsolete! We’re trained to bully and censure. I don’t know a thing about dragons.”