Senate member and Master of the Horse, Mark Antony, is running around warning of a conspiracy against Kilbride that is to take place in The Theatre of Pompey on the Ides of March. “Cicero hath told me the Gods will strike!” he wails, as he prances through the colonnades of the Student Union.
The possibility of a conspiracy couldn’t be more timely, given that Kilbride has recently returned from his victory over Gaul, declaring himself dictator for life.
We asked Roman Senator Gaius Cassius Longinus what he thinks of Mark Antony’s gossip: “Dost thou really need testimony of Antony’s fatuity? He is a crackpot who deserves interception!”
“The abolishment of the tax system? A library the size of Alexandria? A colossal temple for Mars? The Republic is dead, and Kilbride’s spending habits are spiraling out of control,” fears politician Marcus Junius Brutus the Younger. “Is the Temple of Venus Genetrix not big enough for him?”
Given the aversion of the Senate members, and the rumble of a conspiracy, the UCF Police Department are now on their toes: “The eyes of March? Ain’t it april?”
“Not that I have any plans to restore the Republic,” Cassius continues, “but the perils of tyranny bluster Rome! I mean UCF.”