Electric Daisy Carnival

Port Orange police issued an Amber Alert today when a young girl by the name of “Molly” went missing at Orlando’s first annual electronic music festival, Electric Daisy Carnival.

Suspicions began when multiple festival goers kept receiving questions concerning the location of a supposed girl named “Molly,” but no one knew where the alleged missing youth could be located.

After witnessing suspicious individuals with questionable character inquiring as to the location of “Molly,” one such reveler, DJ Fresh N’ CLean realized that something wasn’t right and made the 911 call.

“I don’t know if these people want to hurt or help her,” Mr. CLean said worryingly, “I just want to get this girl back to her family.”

It wasn’t long before police and carnival staff became involved with the scenario.

“We’ve really been touched by the sense of community the festival has embraced.” said head of security Daryl Jones, “People, not even related to Molly, have been searching high and low for this poor little girl.”

“Molly’s my life… my everything,” said Darren Huckerbee, a festival goer and political activist. “I just… I just don’t know what I would do without her, you know?”

The police department made a statement today that they are doing everything in their power to find Molly and that all concerned people should rest assured the police department and festival security are doing everything they can to resolve the issue.

The search so far, however, has been befuddled by many false leads who may be seeking little more than media attention. Investigative journalists of the Fancy tried futilely to find more clues as to the identity of “Molly”, but came up with few answers, as many of the youths who claimed to have some connection to “Molly” were only able to provide esoteric and often obscure hints at how to identify her.


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Starchild Gift-Bringer, the alias of dred-locked, glow-painted, Veronica Shanvitzky, a Philosophy Major at the University of Central Florida, stated that, “Molly is a genuinely pure individual, she like, takes you… and introduces you to people… not with their names but with…. their auras. Yeah. Their auras.”

“Yeah man,” victoriously announced concert-goer and amateur Electronic Trance music enthusiast Rich ‘Fuckmonger’ Barry, “I found Molly, man. She right here with me right nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Like… She taught me how to taste your voice, bro… and its chartreuse.”

Individuals immersed in the festivities have reacted with alarm and surprise to the authorities intense search for the missing party, citing that their interest in the case has been highly irregular. Dubstep music producer Hi-Fi Droppz was quoted as saying, “I think any of us could find Molly if we really wanted to, its just a matter of knowing where to look and reading the signs… the police will never find Molly with the way they are looking for [her] now”.

With the Electric Daisy Carnival ending today, The Central Florida Fancy fears that Molly may not be found in time, and authorities may have to wait until the crowds disperse to search for any clues as to the whereabouts of “Molly”, and can hopefully reunite her with her undoubtedly terrified family.

photo by 666isMONEY