Art Majors Manage After Heavy Budget Cuts
“The water’s fluidity allows me to break from the conformity of paint and inspires a whole new medium of expression,” expressed one art student.
Archive for October, 2011
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1% Retaliates Against Occupy Wall Street Demonstrations
Since mid-September, thousands have gathered in New York City’s Zuccotti Park and several other major cities across the country to protest against corporate greed, corruption, and corporate influence on government. “We are the 99%” has become the popular slogan of these demonstrations, referring to the income inequality between the top [...]
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Dubstep Robots Will Take Over the World
I don’t have much time to say this. They’ll be here soon so I’m going to have to keep what I say short. Let me preface what I’m about to say with the disclaimer that I’m not from your time. Now that [...]
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UCF to Close Because the Chamber of Secrets Has Been Opened
“If we can’t find the culprit behind these attacks, it’s likely that the school will be closed,” Professor McGonagall told a press conference yesterday morning. Within the first 24 hours of the alleged opening of the Chamber of Secrets, two UCF muggle-borns have been petrified, and one has unfortunately been [...]
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Local Party Allegedly Still Asking For Second Keg Donations
Police issued a community alert around 10:45 tonight after a local UCF party reported that their first keg has been tapped, and if they aren’t able to acquire enough money for a second keg, the flow of alcohol will soon terminate. Inside sources have reported the hosts are only about [...]
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Steve Jobs Passes Away at 56, Unfortunately Steve Ballmer Doesn’t
Wow. Seriously though. RIP Steve. You were a hero to many of us. Love, The Central Florida Fancy
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Apple iPhone 4S Conference Live Blog!
Note: This page will refresh in 15 seconds. EDIT: We’ve just been informed that it doesn’t work like that. UPDATE: The live blog is over. It begins on the bottom. So scroll to the bottom. Like us. Because we’re cool. 10/4/11 2:39 P.M. (eastern) –Well I guess that’s it. [...]
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CREOL Researchers Conclude Jim Cannot Exceed Speed of Light
The recently published results of a jointed project between CERN and Italian physicists has shaken laypeople and scientists alike; the implications of the elusive neutrino possibly exceeding the speed of light is resounding and may make necessary the revision of our fundamental understanding of the universe. Scientists around the world [...]
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Sterling Central Residents Take Advantage of New Green Trash Absorbing Elevators
“Fuck this elevator,” said one Sterling resident. “We gonna hit up Deko tonight?”
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Scientists Say Dinosaurs Are Exponentially Less Cooler Than They Were During Your Childhood
In recent years, the science community has done all it could to tarnish the mesmerizing, majestic, and fearsome image of dinosaurs we all once had in our heads as children. Years ago, it was discovered that the velociraptor—the sleek, hyper-intelligent, killing machines that starred in the 1993 film, Jurassic Park—was [...]
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