In an era when music is mass-produced and most bands come to be nothing more than a passing fad, one local band has the courage to stand up for their artistic integrity by doing nothing at all. The group, ironically-named Mainstream, formed just a few short weeks ago when founding [...]
For decades, visiting a “Mall Santa” has been a staple of American Christmas tradition. Children are given the opportunity to sit on Santa’s lap, recite their Christmas wish lists, and take a photo with jolly old Saint Nick. Recently, the Cypress Mall has added a new character to this Christmas [...]
“That was the worstest movie I ever seen!” says film aficionado and six year-old, Billy Schepes after a recent viewing of Walt Disney’s The Muppets. The film, which showcases the long-awaited return of Jim Henson’s beloved characters, has been met with an overwhelmingly negative response from critics ages 5-13. “There [...]
Research released by Forbes on December 3rd revealed the surpising statistic that someone actually read the Central Florida Future last week. The finding has greatly perturbed a majority of the public thus far, who until now was largely under the assumption that no one reads that crap. The findings gathered [...]
After the recent remakes of several 80’s classics such as Footloose, The Thing, Arthur and remakes of Robocop, Gremlins, Red Dawn, and many more on their way, the heads of the major Hollywood studios have come together and issued a statement to the press: “Fuck it, we’ll do ‘em all.” [...]
“If we can’t find the culprit behind these attacks, it’s likely that the school will be closed,” Professor McGonagall told a press conference yesterday morning. Within the first 24 hours of the alleged opening of the Chamber of Secrets, two UCF muggle-borns have been petrified, and one has unfortunately been [...]
Applied Physics major, Jeremy Marx, produced a “huge dook” this morning after eating two Big Macs and a large order of french fries before he went to sleep last night. “I figured that if I ate a bunch of food, I’d take a big shit. And I was right,” Jeremy [...]
A dark cloud fell over London today, with the announcement of a great tragedy that shook the world to its core. In other news, British pop starlet Amy Winehouse was found dead in her London flat. The singer was known for such hits as “Rehab” and probably a few others. [...]
After years of less than mediocre remakes and blurred cinematic reinventions, director of the recently completed Footloose remake, Craig Brewer, has finally taken Hollywood’s reputation a step in the right direction. By combining a series of specific elements, Brewer has ensured that the 80s vibe that made the original Footloose [...]
A popular television show has come under fire today after last night’s episode revealing numerous sequences of actual plot and characters instead of its usual product placement. One particularly outraged viewer led a single-man protest in front of the Network’s home base. The Fancy interviewed the lone activist, Gerald Hompkins, [...]
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