“If we can’t find the culprit behind these attacks, it’s likely that the school will be closed,” Professor McGonagall told a press conference yesterday morning. Within the first 24 hours of the alleged opening of the Chamber of Secrets, two UCF muggle-borns have been petrified, and one has unfortunately been [...]
As reports of existential despair and attempted suicides over the conclusion of the Harry Potter septilogy rise, some potential relief may be on the horizon. J.K. Rowling, author of world-famous series about “the boy who lived”, and second-largest U.S. debt buyer after China, has announced she has been working on [...]
Following enduring instances of being doggedly bullied, Emma Watson has fixed upon transferring to a less immature and more pontifically high-brow university. “Hermione desires a cultured institution that’s more well-read so she can be respected for her role as the multifaceted and existentially troubled anti-heroine Hermione,” Watson’s PR representative revealed [...]
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