A lack of competency looms over the heads of the UCF Landscape and Natural Resources crew as a pile of large stale french fries lay littering the ground adjacent to the Washington Center. The fries have been allowed to fester for so long that new employees have mulched around them and [...]
Orange County Fire Department officers were rushed into the Student Union to perform an evacuation this afternoon after reports were received of students smelling a terrible fart in the beloved building. “It was horrible, I called 911 immediately,” recounted a disheveled freshman in-between sips of hot tea as she sat [...]
In the UCF Mining and Rigging program’s latest discovery, solar energy has been found underground in the form of a crude oil-like slick. Head of Research Dr. Hans Arztbeweis gave us the rundown. “Vell, ven ze sun rays come down to Earth from ze Moon ze vermin und ze critter [...]
UCF students realized earlier today that there’ll be no gold at the end of this St. Patrick’s day’s rainbow when, at 2:14pm, Juan Julio Rodriguez Castillo, an employee within UCF Landscape & Natural Resources, mowed over a group of loyal green garnished St. Patty’s day fans reclining by the reflection [...]
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